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It's My Party And I Die If I Want To

by Brave Young Years

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    12" black vinyl

    Includes unlimited streaming of It's My Party And I Die If I Want To via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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1.
Cold Hands 03:13
Your cold hands in my pocket I'd always walk you home, I'd always walk you home... Don't want to share dreams anymore, it's about how to forget that you're in love... Don't break me with your smile... Keep your cold hands I'm death and hate and love and pain... Carried your heart in my pocket long enough to stay awake at night... Don't break me with your smile...
2.
Good Night 02:34
I kissed you good night when I was high and thought it helps you sleep. I kissed you good night and felt alone and hoped it might wake you up. Don't remember me this way when I was daft, weak and lost. I kissed you goodbye and wanted to stay with you and sleep forever. I kissed you goodbye and felt so alone next to you on the corner. Don't remember me this way when I was daft, weak and lost. It's not a healthy colour for a soul.
3.
Black 04:35
You make it go away when your heart is made of stone and I've known this place my heart is made of stone. You think no one knows this pain well I've known it for so long. The deeper that it gets, the darker gets your soul. When everything is black and you don't know what you've done, each smile upon your face is tears your hiding from. "Hope is a mistake, I'd rather die alone, burned-out from the inside and there's no hope."
4.
Through 03:22
All this pain that I've been through nothing ever changed I only wanted to kiss you and blatantly pushed her away. I pushed you away in a slightly pathetic way and spared us a bit of time. Well I've written this song before and I've said these things before - now the truth doesn't mean anything. And in pettiness I drift, the one I should never have kissed - now truth never meant anything. All this pain that I've been through nothing ever changed I only wanted to kiss you and blatantly pushed you away. You're not the only one on my mind.
5.
You are so wrong I tried it all though I knew there was no way to love you. You were so wrong about all the things I did now I know there is no way to love you. The only thing that keeps me alive is to know you will never be happy. We can never meet again as I would break again so easily, no one's truely happy. I've always missed you and I always will. I hope there's nothing left for you to kill. I can't shake away the pain everytime I see your face I hide the pain, Sandy I've tried to look the other way.
6.
In a garden behind a wall herbs and trees thrive and wither and I'm not free to swing the gate to walk outside the holy ground. I must not be disturbed by any. A lock forbids your stride inside, a lock that speaks a rhyme for you - the motion that you may desire is safely locked with steel and wire, is enveloped in my attire - in a garden behind a wall. I am the most handsome god of all in summer I hear the sound of fall. I wither and I thrive in a garden behind a wall. "I keep you this way - at any cost."
7.
Walls 03:26
All the tears I haven't cried in a long time. Lost in shades of blue, words still dark and cold, cracked by waves of hope but always in the fall. So here I lose again, my darkness paves the day, my smile a crooked lie - her smile could tear down walls. Lost in shades of blue, my darkness paves the day, cracked by waves of hope - her smile could tear down walls. So now I pray for love to get me in my sleep and quickly slit my throat to ease the pain. So I can lose again, words still dark and cold, my smile a crooked lie - back to when I fall.
8.
I'm a stranger in this land where you'll be staring at the moon. There's a leash around my neck, yet I'm not sick enough abroad. For the world is hollow you're always staring at the moon. What I behold cannot be mine - is it real blood you taste in dreams? And I'm not sick enough at home, we got long thoughts on our minds. You should feel safe inside this dream where we are strangers in our eyes. For the world is hollow long thoughts are governing our minds and we are strangers to each other - it's not real blood you taste in dreams. For the world is hollow! There's a leash around my neck and we are strangers to each other. What I behold cannot be mine 'cause I'm a stranger in your land. I'm not sick enough at home with a leash around my neck. You're always staring at the moon and I'm a stranger in your land.
9.
I Need You 03:27
I want you but you keep on bringing me down. And I need you but you keep on bringing me down - and you won't stop. When your blackness calls I'll follow you but there is nothing I, nothing I can do. I want you.
10.
Lifeline 03:42
Here I'm hanging on my slight tie of a fucking lifeline enrich me with your smile cut me off my ties of my fucking lifeline, my karma-painted ties. Give what you get and give it right back. I haven't smiled for days and I'd jump and I would if I wasn't that weak of a man. Thought I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to fall.
11.
I must have cried a million times now I'm dying all the time, your beauty breaks my lines. This story is far too old, my sweet ghost with second thoughts I should have known the way this goes. These careless words now break my heart. I should have known, I should have known. Please don't do this to me, nothing ever made me happy, nothing ever except for your eyes. I thought I've learned so much about life still I'm not that clever, I'm only selfish because I only think of you. I told you I don't lie anymore, can't think of a better lie, I'm not free – and you don't deserve this at all. It's not sad I haven't even tried to change your mind as I'm too blind to see that you can never make this work. I'm so sorry I can't wait until my lies consume everything you like about me - a last pathetic line to creak out of my chest. Please don't do this to me, nothing ever made me happy, nothing ever except for your eyes. My only mistake is that I let it happen when I should have known the way this goes.

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Look at our work ye mighty and despair.
--
Labels: Grotto Terrazza, Black Verb Records

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released August 24, 2018

Recorded and mixed by Andor Benzce in Munich in 2018.

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Brave Young Years München, Germany

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